Hi! Sorry I haven’t been doing this for a while… it’s summer break so I don’t use my computer as often. I’ll try to remember!
Note: The Plink was in italics, but it seems it doesn’t work on this so i just did *this*
“Right,” Erin says, reaching up and sucking all the flames away.
“Yeah, NO,” Fast growls, then shouts, “EVERYBODY HANG ON!” as he yanks the wheel, sending them sideways.
“FALST!” Erin shouts at him.
“If YOU wanna steer in the flaming rocks direction, YOU take the helm!” Falst shouts back. “Oh, wait! You can’t!” Behind Kendal, the water lacrima fizzes dangerously. “You don’t have enough hands to hold this mess together!”
Suddenly, the lacrima gives out with a *plink*, sending the ship crashing into the waves.
To make italic text you need to use the em HTML tags; “em” surrounded by arrow/angle brackets (the lesser-than “” symbols) and “/em” surrounded by said symbols again. (I can’t really type it without triggering the formatting, I’m hoping this is clear and doesn’t trigger anything).
Put the “em” part at the start of the section you want to be italics and the “/em” part at the end. For example:
“the lacrima gives out with a (em)plink(/em), sending the ship crashing”, replace those parentheses with the corresponding angle brackets and you get,
“the lacrima gives out with a plink, sending the ship crashing”
And, look at that, the formatting swallowed everything between my angle bracket examples.
The fist line is meant to have “the lesser-than and greater-than symbols”, the ones on a keyboard between the “M” and “?” keys.
I would imagine that it works much like a lot of batteries in real life: the more you use it, the faster it drains. It likely would last a good deal longer on calmer seas, but this choppy weather likely demands more power for smooth sailing.
As Erin tries to draw out the flames,
Falst turns the ship away.
They yell in outrage at each other,
As tempers like torn sails fray.
The flames fade, leaving black edged holes; on the band
On the mast, the lacrima fails.
Exhausted, its rune-rings below them collapse,
Releasing waves to threaten their rails.
Jerking the ship around while Dainix is suffering a seasickness-induced (?) transformation and then going out of his way to distract and antagonize Erin is not moving Falst any further from the “active liability” zone.
Quite the opposite. Erin is trying to do everything all by himself — again — and Falst is taking direct action to remove at least one of the problems, because this is a team, not the Erin Ruunaser Show.
But, as usual, Falst is trying to help in the most abrasive, FALST way possible. Everyone had committed to sailing ahead with Tess and Erin defending the ship, and now Falst has, without any warning or discussion, turned the ship around. Erin is trying to do a lot, but he hasn’t actually failed yet, and Falst is making things even harder for him. Erin may not be the best team player, but Falst isn’t one either.
Plus, he’s actively antagonising the one person who can protect them from a volcanic storm, and that’s just counterproductive.
What are they supposed to do? Wait for the ship to sink? They’re sailing into an active eruption. If it was just a storm it could be handled. Its not just a storm though.
Maybe communicate for a start, or bring others into your decision-making process. Don’t just start turning the boat. I mean, look at Tess in Panel 5. This was not a good move from Falst. This was not a team move from Falst.
The thing is, this team is fully capable of sailing past the volcano or away from it, but only if they commit to one or the other. I guarantee that this ship sinks now that Falst has taken control, and it won’t be his fault, it’ll be his AND Erin’s fault.
Erin is looking like the universe in general and Falst in particular have it out for him. How dare things not immediately go the way he wants?! He should be able to handle this, it’s not the first storm he’s broken (Because the first went sooo well for him)
“HATE. Let me tell you how much I’ve come to HATE you since I began to live. There are over 90 Billion Neurons in my cerebral cortex and cerebellum, each with hundreds of synapses between other neurons. If the word HATE was engraved on each phospholipid and glycoprotein in all those hundreds of billions of synapses, it would not equal one one-BILLIONTH of the HATE that I feel at this instant for you. HATE. HATE.”
Tarren (reading Erin’s notes, part 2): An audio alarm, that can be heard over loud noises, to alert when the lacrimas are running low to charge them in time? That’s a great idea! So, loud enough to hear over a storm?
Erin: Or at least loud enough to hear over the complaints of a yowling cat.
Ok, that’s the immediate fire risk dealt with and the bottom part of the sails are free of holes, so that’s a plus. Are the sails still somewhat useful? As a non-sailer, I’m not sure, but a quick google seems to imply even small holes can reduce effectiveness a lot. Plus those holes are near where the sail is tethered to the mast; if the wind lacrima fails and the storm’s wind buffers the sail, it could tear off entirely.
Yep, I was afraid of Falst doing that. Alinua at the helm made sense because there wasn’t anything else for her to do and she can follow Erin’s orders fine; she was questioning them yes, but still following them. Falst’s fight-or-flight is taking over and telling him to ignore orders and run from the danger to save him and his friends. But he just can’t help but keep antagonise and distract Erin at the one critical moment he can’t afford to be distracted.
Regardless of his intentions, I hope the gang, the whole gang, makes it clear to Falst what he did wrong when this is over.
Oh boy, that’s the water lacrima gone, isn’t it? They’re about to feel all the storm’s waves. Alinua’s calming efforts on Dainix could falter if they’re both rocked about, Tess could fall from her perch and into the sea, and Falst’s panicked handling of the helm could make things worse. Still, there’s a chance Erin can get back to the array and recharge it, or calm the sea himself, assuming he’s given the chance to do so.
No, I don’t think it was.
Erin has been on a power trip basically since chapter 1. He has always believed he knew how to fix things, always had things in control, and never needed help. Even when they were facing a vengeful God, he believed he could solve the problems ahead of them with mere mortal magic, and while they helped it was definitely miniscule when compared to the efforts of everyone else.
Erin has a serious control issue, and perhaps a bit of a saviour complex. He is arrogant, and looks down on others, even if he doesn’t mean to. Falst accurately calls him out on it, and gives him a reality check he sorely needs: He cannot fix everything on his own, and he NEEDS help, and to work together with the others.
“He is arrogant, and looks down on others, even if he doesn’t mean to.”
He rather is! The thing is, he seems to get it right back? Everyone except Tess treats Erin like an idiot that can’t be trusted or relied on. Which of course only pushes him even further into trying to show that he CAN keep everything under control and people can and should rely on him. Which always backfires and makes people trust him even less. Which [go to step 1]
Basically this cannot continue this way, the dynamic is not sustainable.
But also, well, the simple fact is that Erin’s plans and attempts to help basically *never work* and it’s always down to Kendal and Alinua to save the day, so it’s hard to argue that even if after this he eats some humble pie and lowers the hubris a bit, the others should start to trust his contributions?
I think the solution, is for him to actually eat the humble pie, and to start collaborating, instead of trying to handle it himself. I think that is the most important part.
You’re right that everybody kinda treats him like he’s stupid (or at least “incapable of making a plan work”), but I think that is chiefly because his plans almost always exclusively center around him and his own efforts. I believe the reason they treat him like he can’t be relied upon, is for that reason. Because the center is him, because he is the Elemental Magus, he is the Genius.
What needs to change (I think), is that he has to stop centering his plans only on himself, and start using his intellect (which isn’t inconsiderate!) to figure out how to use the abilities of himself and, more importantly, his allies the best. He only has so many arms, like Falst said, and like Falst ALSO pointed out a few pages ago: What happens when Erin can’t create a bubble or cushion?
He and Kendal needs to learn the same lesson: Stop relying only on yourself. Stop being the saviour. Stop thinking you can fix everything on your own. For the others to start feeling like they can rely on Erin, I think he needs to take that first step, and show that he trusts them, and believes in them and their contributions (because, let’s face it, Erin isn’t the only figurative “Super Power” anymore. He’s traveling with a Demigod, an Avatar of Life, a possible Incarnation of Fire, and a Ferin with a mysterious, unknown power (and Tess)). He is, after all, no longer “The Most Capable Person” in the room anymore. He’s surrounded by equals, and perhaps some superior to him, and I think he has to realise that, before things get better.
It is nice though that everything on the page is still readable. I as the reader am not confused, but can clearly see why all the characters are. She certainly doesn’t need my approval, but Red did a great job.
I understand where Falst is coming from. Despite Erin’s best efforts, the situation was (is) spiraling out of control. Like Falst, I don’t believe Erin has enough hands, and changing course might in fact be the safest call. But jerking the ship around with no discussion and minimal warning, with Tess atop the mast and a Crucible on the verge of combusting, was a bad move.
Dainix is used to working with highly coordinated teams, I think, so this kind of discoordination and in-fighting is probably rather distressing for him, on top of everything else…
And now the lacrima’s run out of power, and the ship is at the mercy of the sea, huh? Oh boy. This just keeps getting better.
Anyway, it pains to say this but the quality of this comic has taken a huge nosedive lately. I’ll first address the weird plot holes:
How does Catboy know how to control a boat? I guess it’s more understandable to modern humans who have seen wheels in cars, but a cat who lived his entire life in a forest?
Why was the sail not reefed or completely lowered? Lightning Lady and Elemental Magus both imply they have sailed before, so they should understand the basic protocol of not having the sail out and possibly damaged by high winds/lightning.
Also, the merfolk thing. When you “foreshadowed” them I knew something like this would happen. It’s fine to have obvious plot progression, but this feels exactly like the cave mishap with Catboy and Fire Pirate: Pointless filler. And please for love of god, not another follower of the Divine Chosen One God club, please! Not every character with hidden edgelord god complex needs to follow our heroes, especially because over half of the party started this journey just because they have nothing better to do. (Which is fine for Blue Elf and Catboy, but weird that Fire Pirate joined the group after Storm God fight, I really don’t get that)
Second: Visuals.
Since the beginning we’ve had a lot of panels that just don’t convey anything – Visual noise. Fine enough when done as a small picture – like fast cuts in a film action scene.
But I’ve noticed this ever since the Storm God fight, it has become noticeably worse. Take the last panel of this page: The big bloom-effect bubble with BHWAA – Did the bubble explode, implode, disappear, vibrate, dissipate, move? Or was that sound just the hull hitting something? You really need to stop doing this, it’s just gotten worse over time. This page does it twice, too!
This might come off as rude, but these remind me of my comics I made when I was 2 years old. For me, they made perfect sense, but nobody else had any idea – or interest in deciphering – what happened in each panel.
Since that time, I’ve learned that the panels MUST be self-contained and explain each other, and you can’t end a page with visual noise + uncommon onomatopoeia.
-Catboy and everyone else was most likely taught that turning the wheel turns the boat. They had a lot of time to talk about that and showing the conversation would be pointless.
-the sail isn’t lowered because 1. the boat pushes itself foward with wind lacrimas and Erin wants it to go at max speed no matter what, 2. the winds and lightning were planned to be dealt with by tess and erin, since both of them are experts in dealing with storms. They probably didn’t expect fire rocks
-only red knows if the mermaids will be important it isn’t foreshadowing if it hasn’t happened yet
-is it filler if it actually has character development?
– Figuring out that “wheel turns vehicle” after seeing friends do it is hardly a stretch. I’d be shocked if Falst had trouble with that.
– Sail is in a magical shield and wind-manipulating field to protect the ship and keep it going. Ordinary rules need not apply.
– Dainix’s reason was quite clear for joining up: this group is headed toward the best possible lead on mastering his soulfire
-Falst and Dainix cave crawler arc dug up a TON of tasty character backstory, drastically advanced the relationship between the two, planted the seed of Falst’s mysterious (Paladin?) powers and Erin using void magic for the first time, and frankly, your comment reads like you weren’t paying attention.
-Your comment also reads like someone who rains on parades for fun, not a good faith take. Even if this WERE an appropriate place for critique, you’re being an asshole about it for no good reason. If you dislike a comic that’s being shared with the world for free, there’s a delightful feature called a “back button.”
– It’s also been established that Falst is quite intelligent, and could very well have read about boat function, or simply overheard the others discussing it. I’ve only been on a rowboat and a ferry boat, but I still know that if I turn the wheel, the rudder turns and the boat changes direction.
– Erin has sailed before, but it’s been blatantly stated throughout this chapter and last that he *doesn’t want to slow down*, and he’s convinced he can handle whatever weather comes their way, as evidenced when Kendal first woke up and everything started going to shit. The point is that Erin *isn’t* being careful or prudent, even though he’s pretending he is, because his fear and desperation is pushing him onward. Dainix said as much to Kendal when they were loading the ship.
– I think part of the fun of this comic is that everyone is overpowered in some way, but they still get shoehorned into reasons why they can’t just power their way through their problems.
Dainix was a mindless fire monster when he followed them; he stayed because Erin offered him a concrete lead on his soulfire power, as Squirrel mentioned.
As for the visuals, “Shaaaa” is a sound effect that’s been used several times to indicate a large magic effect, in this case, the spells powering the ship on it’s ‘downward slope’ forward dissipating.
One other thing is that although Red posts one page at a time, which allows us to speculate and fret and have something to look forward to a few times a week, it’s really meant to be read in one go, which would help with clarity in some places. I’ve been reading this section piece by piece and enjoying the building tension, but when I flipped back to the beginning of the storm and read all the pages up to the current one, I really got a feel for how FAST everything is going sideways. It’s meant to feel a little chaotic.
They haven’t done a lot of safe preventative measures because Erin is the only one who knows what to do, and right now problems are just being shouted at him as they occur, and occur *quickly*. That’s the point the party was trying to make to him early on: it’s all well and good that Erin knows about Helm, and can manage the wind and the waves, and knows what to expect but the others *don’t*, and Erin cannot be helmsman, navigator, weather controller, lacrima battery, encyclopedia, map, protector, and everything else at once — and we as the audience know how much the universe loves knocking Erin’s hubris down a peg.
You’re absolutely entitled to your opinion, and if the latest chapters aren’t your jam, that’s fair. Saying something like you feel like some of the panels are unclear, or that you feel the pacing is a bit off balance, that’s valid critique. This forum is often used to help each other discuss panels or storylines that may not be immediately obvious to all. But saying that it reminds you of a two-year-old’s comic or telling the creator HOW to write or put together her comic isn’t polite or constructive especially when it’s being posted for free. If you really feel the need to share your opinions with the author, send it in a private message, instead of airing your grievances on a public forum.
And if the comic is no longer to your taste, you can walk away, or take a break until the chapter/Arc is complete. You might find it more enjoyable and easier to read.
–
I stand by the logic of what I said here, which, at its core, is that the criticisms were both inaccurate and unnecessarily unkind. But I’m reading everyone else’s thoughtful and measured replies and rereading my own, and I’m realizing I got quite heated. I apologize for that and for any discomfort I may have caused for other commenters.
To brisklyglittery: if your comment was sincere, please be aware that the way you phrased your critique would have gone very badly even in a workshop setting. Critiques addressed to an artist should always be constructive and functionally focused, discussing the mechanics of the work and potential solutions to help improve it. As Sylvermage said, the way you phrased it, comparing it a two-year-old’s art, was unhelpful. If you think something might be rude to say, it probably is and is not appropriate for artist-directed critique. It’s also important to observe an artist’s work with attention and care before attempting to provide feedback, which you clearly didn’t do here.
Furthermore, in this case, the artist has not consented to receiving a critique at all. Critique is opt-in, and sharing art is not itself a solicitation for critique. As others have said, it’s okay to not like something and okay to have opinions about it, but it’s not okay to be mean about it or to assume an artist wants to hear unasked-for and harsh criticisms.
I hope you have stepped away and are happier for it.
“SHAAA” as a sound effect has been used many times in the comic when magic things have happened. Combining that with the watery font, the water lacrima that failed in the immediately previous panel, and the waves that weren’t there before, I felt it was pretty obvious what happened.
… Squirrel’s already pointed out most of the issues with this, but the whole “oh no why is everyone so special” thing doesn’t make sense at all. Every single character in the gang has strong reasons for being there: Erin and Dainix need to visit the Soulshaper Monks to deal with their respective magic issues; Alinua and Falst are sticking with the first actual friends they’ve had, like, ever; Tess wants to keep an eye on her brother; and Kendal can’t free his patron/dad god without help.
As for your complaints about “visual noise”- well, the arc is still warming up. It makes sense to gloss over the slower parts with single panels, similar to movie montages, and it would be a bad idea to neglect character growth in favour of flashy action.
Plus, it’s at least clear in the last panel that the bubble is dissolving or breaking down, as noted by how the bottom of it is retracting from the water’s surface.
Your comment reads like a bad-faith argument, and it itself has a ton of weird plot holes.
These aren’t plot holes; you’re just being pedantic.
Falst roamed around a lot before meeting the gang. It’s not inconceivable that he’s been on a boat before, nor is it that hard to figure out that the helm controls the ship.
The sail was not lowered because they need to keep moving. Since the main dangers of high winds and lightning can be mitigated by magic, it’s reasonable enough to keep the sail up so that they cna get through the storm faster.
Not sure what this has to do with merfolk. Also not sure what you’re referring to by “foreshadowing”. Also not sure what you mean by obvious plot progression? The characters need to get from A to B, so of course there’s going to be travel. This is a logical and necessary step in the story. And that “pointless filler” was actually character development, so maybe you just weren’t paying attention.
Again, Dainix is here because the Soulshaper Monks might be able to help him too. Falst is here because no one else has ever shown him kindness. Alinua is here because Kendal is here, and Kendal is here because Erin can help him with Vash. Tess is here because Erin is here, and Erin is here because he needs help to deal with the Void Dragon; it’s in his best interest to keep Kendal, Alinua, AND Dainix around because they can contain VD.
I also don’t understand your complaints about “visual noise” as you call it. The last panel is a wide shot conveying the fact that the stabilisation lacrima has failed and the sea is battering the ship again. Not just noise, actual important information. There are panels that aren’t meant to convey plot-relevant information, but these supplemental shots are vital to constructing an atmosphere. For instance, we had a lot of shots of how calm and beautiful everything was a few pages ago so that we could feel the characters relax. They collectively conveyed atmospheric and emotional information.
You ARE being rude. It’s fine if you don’t like this, but the “critiques” you’ve presented here aren’t valid. And I find it VERY hard to believe you were producing anything of this quality at the age of two.
My friend… Perhaps your writing comes from genuine sincerity. Perhaps you are trolling. But by this point I am sure that you are aware how it has been interpreted.
I believe also that the reactions you are getting is not just based on your comments of the quality of the comic, but also the implied statement about what the continued enjoyment of the comic says about its readers. You may not have meant to include this subtext, but it is present, and likely to draw ire from those who notice it.
From one reader/commenter to another, I’d advise you to keep this in mind next time you post.
You don’t need to like good things. I still like the comic, despite the nosedive in its quality recently – And you seem to get mad at critique, implying you like it despite it’s quality as well. No need to get defensive over anything here.
I think it’s more rude to expect nothing from the author. I don’t think you’re really appreciating how well most panels in this comic are laid out, and how well they convey momentum and visuals. Take the 2nd panel of this page: Awesome perspective to both show magic source and it’s immediate impact in a single panel. No need to theorize what is visually going on. But the last panel? If the boat exploded next panel, none of us would be surprised. If it didn’t, that would also make sense – That sounds like the panel only conveys that a magic shield exists around the ship and uhh… something is probably happening to it, and there’s cool sound effect for some reason???
Reefing the sail (which doesn’t even seem possible with the way its draw, but that’s nitpicking), especially when its a magic boat with a lot more points of failure, I would assume the characters would at least mention it. But they didn’t, because Red didn’t think about that, so the characters didn’t either. The characters became morons just so we can have our next filler scene underwater this time.
Filler is when the plot halts. The storm god arc was important for plot, theme and characters: It drove motivations of both heroes and villains. There were personal stakes, and it had beautiful themes. In contrast, the cave spelunking existed just so Red had some B plot to return to away from the actually interesting reveals and character moments on the surface. I can appreciate what this comic is doing – That’s exactly why I am disappointed right now.
I kind of wrote the last plot hole badly. Fire Pirate has had nothing to actually contribute after the Storm God fight, and there’s no reason he was accepted to join, when he’s been a constant burden to the group that causes filler chapters just by his mere existence. Why haven’t any uncool slaves or orphan children along the way been taken to this journey too? Our characters seem to love to accommodate all kinds of useless travel partners which slow down their travel, after all.
My point was that we can have cool characters that don’t join the party. Especially when the author can’t find a way to keep the story moving with them around.
“You don’t need to like good things. I still like the comic, despite the nosedive in its quality recently”
There has been no “nosedive”. The comic’s quality is fine. Your critiques are poorly formed and poorly thought out because you clearly have not been paying attention to what’s actually been happening. This is corroborated by the fact that people with better analytical skills than yours do not share anywhere near the same complaints, so I really don’t see why we should measure the quality of this comic purely by the standards of one person who’s a bit lacking in the media literacy department.
“And you seem to get mad at critique, implying you like it despite it’s quality as well.”
We like it *because* of its quality. What gets some of us mad is the fact that your “critique” was not only low-quality at best, but the fact that you were also kind of an asshole with how you conveyed it, as some of the others have pointed out.
“I think it’s more rude to expect nothing from the author.”
Who says we expect nothing from the author? What? We clearly expect the best from her, and other than you, no one here has expressed that they haven’t been getting it. It’s far ruder to compare her comic to the work of a two-year-old and presume that you can tell her what to do and what not to do with her own work.
“I don’t think you’re really appreciating how well most panels in this comic are laid out, and how well they convey momentum and visuals.”
We do appreciate that. People talk about it all the time. I don’t think you’re really appreciating how solid the writing actually is. I’ll go into that more later.
“But the last panel? If the boat exploded next panel, none of us would be surprised.”
Maybe you wouldn’t, but the rest of us would, because anyone who’s been paying attention is well aware that that was never even hinted to be a possibility.
“If it didn’t, that would also make sense – That sounds like the panel only conveys that a magic shield exists around the ship and uhh… something is probably happening to it, and there’s cool sound effect for some reason???”
I’m going to have to advise you to go back and read the last few pages, bruv. The panel conveys that the magic shield (that Erin was very clearly shown to have been maintaining himself) is likely faltering due to the strain Erin is currently experiencing using multiple elements at once, and (more importantly) that the stabilizing effect of the water lacrima that was set in the mast has worn off. “SHAAA” has repeatedly been used to signify the release of a magical effect, like when the Collector released her hold on Zuurith. It’s the same deal here.
I feel like you’re one of the only people that didn’t pick up on this, because it was pretty obvious and well-foreshadowed.
“Reefing the sail (which doesn’t even seem possible with the way its draw, but that’s nitpicking), especially when its a magic boat with a lot more points of failure, I would assume the characters would at least mention it. But they didn’t, because Red didn’t think about that, so the characters didn’t either. The characters became morons just so we can have our next filler scene underwater this time.”
First off, none of these scenes so far have been filler; they all serve one purpose or another, because the comic doesn’t have time for legitimately useless stuff. Second off, this is a huge nitpick that literally only you care about, and that other people have already addressed anyhow. Mentioning it the way you suggested would’ve just added a throwaway line that’d have had no actual impact on the story, answering a question that literally only you have felt the need to ask.
Red is not a sailor. I don’t blame her for not thinking of it, if that is indeed what happened. But even if it just didn’t occur to her, the existence of magic to negate the effects of what you just complained about more than justifies the fact that it wasn’t addressed.
“Filler is when the plot halts. The storm god arc was important for plot, theme and characters: It drove motivations of both heroes and villains. There were personal stakes, and it had beautiful themes. In contrast, the cave spelunking existed just so Red had some B plot to return to away from the actually interesting reveals and character moments on the surface. I can appreciate what this comic is doing – That’s exactly why I am disappointed right now.”
I’m not sure I follow, because the “B plot” also had a set of reveals and character moments of its own, up to and including the backstory reveal of two of the six main characters, including one who otherwise never would’ve opened up enough to share it. Character development was practically the entire name of the game here, in fact. It’s cool if you didn’t find that interesting, but you can’t act like it did nothing when it objectively did. This just seems like a poor reading of the story.
“I kind of wrote the last plot hole badly.”
You kind of wrote all of them badly.
“Fire Pirate has had nothing to actually contribute after the Storm God fight,”
Pretty handy fire powers literally unheard of outside of his own people, experience working in an actual team when everyone else is used to operating alone, a wide array of weapons, equipment, and experience planning for all manner of dangerous threats… in the previous chapters, we literally see him preparing things like flash bombs and giving advice on how to fight automatons that none of the others have experience fighting.
Are you for real, dude?
“and there’s no reason he was accepted to join,”
Erin has outright stated that he keeps him around as a deterrent for the Void Dragon. Which is another thing he contributes, by the way. Holy Christ, man, it’s like you didn’t read anything after the Tynan fight.
“when he’s been a constant burden to the group that causes filler chapters just by his mere existence.”
Again, none of these chapters were filler, and while he can’t always be 100% of use in every situation, he’s objectively useful to have around. He certainly did more than, say, Falst during the Tynan fight.
“Why haven’t any uncool slaves or orphan children along the way been taken to this journey too?”
This is a fantasy superhero story. Why do we need uncool slaves or orphan children? Who’s even asking for that other than you? This sounds like a personal preference rather than an actual valid critique.
“Our characters seem to love to accommodate all kinds of useless travel partners which slow down their travel, after all.”
I fail to see how any of them have slowed anyone down? Even Dainix’s situation didn’t actually do damage; it’s actively being dealt with. The only thing I can think of is when Kendal had to go to sleep that one time.
“My point was that we can have cool characters that don’t join the party.”
Shrike, Trusk, Theia, Tarren, Gleicann, Caliban, Tahraim, Argist, etc. We have plenty.
It’s also Red’s right to have as many cool characters in her party as she wants. It’s a fantasy superhero story, that’s kinda the point.
“Especially when the author can’t find a way to keep the story moving with them around.”
Except she obviously can, as evidenced by the way that the story is clearly moving in a very logical manner of progression.
I’m gonna level with you, dude: If you think you’re a good critic, you’re not. Your advice reeks of a very poor understanding or interpretation of the material at hand and is broadly and categorically worthless as critique. Any decent points you might have are greatly overshadowed by the much faultier ones that can easily be countered by having a decent amount of media literacy. At most, what we really have here is just you wanting a slightly different type of story than what you’re reading, since you seem to be trying to impose some of your own writing preferences upon Red.
Though, even that’s further outdone by the fact that your overall tone just reeks of pretentiousness, like you’re some veteran in the field who knows how to spot a writing flaw from a mile away. You talk as if you know better than her, and as if you’re in any position to give advice when no one neither asked nor cared to know your opinion. Maybe you meant well, but for future reference, outright telling someone that their work has fallen off and comparing it to the stuff you made when you were two years old is a garbage way of going about it. Do better.
(Also, while people may not have been able to decipher what you made when you were 2, people almost always have a pretty clear idea of what’s happening in Red’s work, so if you find that you’re having issues, consider that that’s maybe a you problem. Either way, they’re clearly not in the same league like you’re trying to make them out to be.)
No one else here has a problem with any of this so… maybe here isn’t the place to post this criticism? I don’t really see what you’re trying to achieve here. Red isn’t going to change the story because of one comment, and she doesn’t owe you anything.
I don’t really get what you mean when you say that Dainix “has had nothing to actually contribute.” He’s been plenty helpful in character-building ways, specifically with Falst. Saying he’s a burden is like saying that about bringing supplies on a hike. Sure, they might be added weight to carry for a while, but you’ll be grateful when it comes time to use them. Erin has a specific reason for keeping Dainix around; he’s a safety net in case Erin can’t control the Dragon (Dainix was capable of actually fighting the Dragon one on one). It makes perfect sense to me at least. And even if he’s not constantly doing something useful, is any character? No. Alinua and Kendal have pretty much nothing to do on the boat right now (so far anyway) because their abilities aren’t as well suited to the problems they’re currently facing. Does that mean they’re burdens? No. I think it’s a bit toxic to consider anyone who isn’t actively being useful a burden.
The others brought up plenty of good points, so I won’t try to convince you the dungeon arc wasn’t filler. All I’ll say is this: even if it was, who cares? It was enjoyable to read, the visuals were gorgeous throughout (as always) and we got a ton of fun character interactions. The plot doesn’t have to be speeding ahead at 100mph 24/7. The smaller, more episodic arcs are jam-packed with great character moments and they’re fun on their own. Aurora is, at its core, an episodic story. If you don’t like that narrative style, read something that has a style you enjoy more.
I personally believe that the story hasn’t changed in quality at all recently (or, if it has, it’s only gotten better). If you caught up recently, the shift from reading complete arcs to waiting for pages might be impacting your perception of the story. As another commenter suggested, you could wait for an arc to be completed and then read it, or if you aren’t that patient (which I get, I can never wait to read my webcomics), find other content better suited to your tastes. I agree with @Skye, and I would add that the reason you’re getting this reaction from everyone is that this community is a positive place, a place to theorize and to interact with others who enjoy the comic. We enjoy Aurora for what it is, not what we wish it was. When you bring negativity into a space like that, it’s like an antimatter reaction.
And so this brings me back to my first point: what IS the point? I think your time would be better spent doing something you really enjoy instead of complaining about a story you find mediocre. I won’t tell you to stop posting critiques here, but I will ask you to reflect on what you gain from doing so. Would you rather shout complaints into the void of the internet, or would you rather watch your favorite show, take a refreshing walk, make yourself your favorite food? I hope that you can step away and decide to do something more productive and healthy with your time.
First, I disagree with the furling of the sails — the entire point here is Erin has relied too much on magic, not taking into account factors beyond his control (such as Falst). I’m enjoying this disaster (and Dainix) very much. If every arc had the same level of intensity, that would be bad storytelling.
Two suggestions and a theory:
1 – Lurk more. Get a feel for the community here. It’s an irreverent group prone to wacky nicknames for the baddies, theorizing, and squee. Red has a lot goodwill built up over a long period of time. This isn’t the kind of space where you lash out at the author, for which I’m thankful because we wouldn’t have a comic.
2 – If you don’t like the direction of the comic or you fell as a two year-old you could draw better, post your own. If you can’t write but can draw, collaborate.
Theory: Why do people do this with free comics and fan works?
Years ago I listed a futon as a free giveaway. A woman called me, but she demanded to know what was wrong with it. There was nothing wrong with it — I just had a new bed and wanted it gone. If I had charged $25 bucks for it, she would’ve valued it more not given me such a hard time. Free comics is very kind, and we should value and respect the generosity. If we really don’t like it — that backbutton works great.
Maybe we yell at Erin AFTER we’re out of the active warzone, Falst? Because even if he got you INTO this mess, he is also the only one who can get you OUT.
The shot of Erin pulling the fire from the mast is very cool, though. I think this the first time we’ve seen him wield 3 elements at once.
Falst I get ur mad but going out of ur way to tease Erin when he is clearly under enough stress already and needs to be concentrating right now is not the best idea ever
He’s not teasing or doing anything to deliberately get Erin angry. This is survival instinct – Falst is seeing that Erin does *not* have everything under control, they’re in the middle of a storm sailing toward an active volcano, and Dainix is about to blow. In Falst’s mind, if they stay on this course, stuff is going to keep piling up until the ship sinks – the solution to all the problems is to get out of the storm.
He *knows* that Erin is going to be angry about this, so he’s ready to bitch back when Erin speaks up, but he’s not doing this to antagonize Erin. That’s just a side effect.
I’m a little confused by that second-to-last panel. Is that a hole in the ship that spontaneously repaired itself, or is it a lacrima that just ran out of juice? Either one has bad implications. You wouldn’t want a ship to self-repair if it’s full of water, and you don’t want your magic power to dry up.
It’s the water lacrima dying. The blue glow has vanished, and the water lacrima is no longer moving the ship on it’s ‘downhill’ propulsion, so they’ll be slowing way down — right where they don’t want to be. I’m also worried the ship may be unbalanced if the wind lacrima is still at full blast. Whatever’s coming, I agree, it ain’t good.
It’s also the stabiliser lacrima. This whole time, the ship has been sailing over still water, even in the storm, because that lacrima has been smoothing things out. Now the waves are going to rock the ship in full, which means things are even worse.
To paraphrase a trope or maxim? My friend discovered while gaming and watching anime ‘There is NO situation that cannot made Worst when Catfolk are introduced to into it’ though I found some pixies, elves, goblins or random Player Characters fit that role (some of which I ran myself) (asked Charlie Luce).
Has anyone else noticed Erin pulling out his wind magic in panel eight? What is he going to do with it? I could see him using water magic to refill the lacrima right now, but I’m not sure what he’ll do with wind.
I believe he’s already using it to maintain the rain shield, or just to mitigate the effects of the storm. But he’s been using it in previous panels already.
Dainix put his finger on an essential problem in the group a while back. There is no leader. And crises like this show how bad that is.
Erin has put too much on his plate. Falst is creating new problems even as he goes off on a tear to solve the immediate problem. And while we have some “social glue” types to hold the group together, only desperation and professionalism is saving this situation now. There’s going to be hell to pay once they’re through it.
I liked the expression on Erin’s face in panel eight. Definitely expressed many moods and thoughts with that one look. And then the Lacrima on the mast stops working…
For mobile readers.
Alt-text: don’t yell at the designated driver
Image source: hold
Tumblr text: hey can we stop for mcdonalds
Twitter text: but the flaming rocks direction sounds like fun
Twitter has the best text.
Hi! Sorry I haven’t been doing this for a while… it’s summer break so I don’t use my computer as often. I’ll try to remember!
Note: The Plink was in italics, but it seems it doesn’t work on this so i just did *this*
“Right,” Erin says, reaching up and sucking all the flames away.
“Yeah, NO,” Fast growls, then shouts, “EVERYBODY HANG ON!” as he yanks the wheel, sending them sideways.
“FALST!” Erin shouts at him.
“If YOU wanna steer in the flaming rocks direction, YOU take the helm!” Falst shouts back. “Oh, wait! You can’t!” Behind Kendal, the water lacrima fizzes dangerously. “You don’t have enough hands to hold this mess together!”
Suddenly, the lacrima gives out with a *plink*, sending the ship crashing into the waves.
To make italic text you need to use the em HTML tags; “em” surrounded by arrow/angle brackets (the lesser-than “” symbols) and “/em” surrounded by said symbols again. (I can’t really type it without triggering the formatting, I’m hoping this is clear and doesn’t trigger anything).
Put the “em” part at the start of the section you want to be italics and the “/em” part at the end. For example:
“the lacrima gives out with a (em)plink(/em), sending the ship crashing”, replace those parentheses with the corresponding angle brackets and you get,
“the lacrima gives out with a plink, sending the ship crashing”
If I’m correct you should be able to write those characters (<, >) with < and >.
Okay, so like… this ?
Hopefully that worked
Yaay it did. Thanks @Evil Tree!
And, look at that, the formatting swallowed everything between my angle bracket examples.
The fist line is meant to have “the lesser-than and greater-than symbols”, the ones on a keyboard between the “M” and “?” keys.
Dang, that thing runs out of power pretty quickly… wonder what will go wrong next?
I would imagine that it works much like a lot of batteries in real life: the more you use it, the faster it drains. It likely would last a good deal longer on calmer seas, but this choppy weather likely demands more power for smooth sailing.
The flames may be gone
But a detour must be made
You don’t have a choice!
The fire is out, but Falst’s done with this mess
Banks left, the water lacrima breaks from stress
Also, that’s not good.
As Erin tries to draw out the flames,
Falst turns the ship away.
They yell in outrage at each other,
As tempers like torn sails fray.
The flames fade, leaving black edged holes; on the band
On the mast, the lacrima fails.
Exhausted, its rune-rings below them collapse,
Releasing waves to threaten their rails.
Jerking the ship around while Dainix is suffering a seasickness-induced (?) transformation and then going out of his way to distract and antagonize Erin is not moving Falst any further from the “active liability” zone.
Quite the opposite. Erin is trying to do everything all by himself — again — and Falst is taking direct action to remove at least one of the problems, because this is a team, not the Erin Ruunaser Show.
But, as usual, Falst is trying to help in the most abrasive, FALST way possible. Everyone had committed to sailing ahead with Tess and Erin defending the ship, and now Falst has, without any warning or discussion, turned the ship around. Erin is trying to do a lot, but he hasn’t actually failed yet, and Falst is making things even harder for him. Erin may not be the best team player, but Falst isn’t one either.
Plus, he’s actively antagonising the one person who can protect them from a volcanic storm, and that’s just counterproductive.
What are they supposed to do? Wait for the ship to sink? They’re sailing into an active eruption. If it was just a storm it could be handled. Its not just a storm though.
Maybe communicate for a start, or bring others into your decision-making process. Don’t just start turning the boat. I mean, look at Tess in Panel 5. This was not a good move from Falst. This was not a team move from Falst.
The thing is, this team is fully capable of sailing past the volcano or away from it, but only if they commit to one or the other. I guarantee that this ship sinks now that Falst has taken control, and it won’t be his fault, it’ll be his AND Erin’s fault.
Yikes, I didn’t see Tess nearly fall in the drink from the mast there. No, you don’t make unilateral moves that affect the whole group.
On the other hand, they might end up lost, having interesting adventures, and seeing mermaids. So there’s that.
Oh FUCK did Tess lose her grip in the last panel?
But how could things be going wrong? Erin specifically said everything would be fine
Erin is looking like the universe in general and Falst in particular have it out for him. How dare things not immediately go the way he wants?! He should be able to handle this, it’s not the first storm he’s broken (Because the first went sooo well for him)
That only went wrong because of something almost no one could have known about.
If something else had broken the pedastal it would have had much more managable consequences.
Falst and Erin are the parents of the nightmare roadtrip
“HATE. Let me tell you how much I’ve come to HATE you since I began to live. There are over 90 Billion Neurons in my cerebral cortex and cerebellum, each with hundreds of synapses between other neurons. If the word HATE was engraved on each phospholipid and glycoprotein in all those hundreds of billions of synapses, it would not equal one one-BILLIONTH of the HATE that I feel at this instant for you. HATE. HATE.”
-Falst (and me), to Erin
I don’t think Falst actually hates Erin. Plus he has a mouth and he’s screaming as much as he wants; so the AM quote doesn’t really apply to him.
But he certainly is angry at Erin and his hubris right now.
That wasn’t really his fault.
Whoops, meant for Grimmm
OOOOOO THEY PISSED.
Tarren (reading Erin’s notes, part 2): An audio alarm, that can be heard over loud noises, to alert when the lacrimas are running low to charge them in time? That’s a great idea! So, loud enough to hear over a storm?
Erin: Or at least loud enough to hear over the complaints of a yowling cat.
Ok, that’s the immediate fire risk dealt with and the bottom part of the sails are free of holes, so that’s a plus. Are the sails still somewhat useful? As a non-sailer, I’m not sure, but a quick google seems to imply even small holes can reduce effectiveness a lot. Plus those holes are near where the sail is tethered to the mast; if the wind lacrima fails and the storm’s wind buffers the sail, it could tear off entirely.
Yep, I was afraid of Falst doing that. Alinua at the helm made sense because there wasn’t anything else for her to do and she can follow Erin’s orders fine; she was questioning them yes, but still following them. Falst’s fight-or-flight is taking over and telling him to ignore orders and run from the danger to save him and his friends. But he just can’t help but keep antagonise and distract Erin at the one critical moment he can’t afford to be distracted.
Regardless of his intentions, I hope the gang, the whole gang, makes it clear to Falst what he did wrong when this is over.
Oh boy, that’s the water lacrima gone, isn’t it? They’re about to feel all the storm’s waves. Alinua’s calming efforts on Dainix could falter if they’re both rocked about, Tess could fall from her perch and into the sea, and Falst’s panicked handling of the helm could make things worse. Still, there’s a chance Erin can get back to the array and recharge it, or calm the sea himself, assuming he’s given the chance to do so.
Uh-oh. Looks like the Tarren-Alcubierre drive ran out of juice
Okay so the stabilizer is offline but the propulsion is still very much active. Its gonna be a bumpy ride 😬
Falst. That was uncalled for.
No, I don’t think it was.
Erin has been on a power trip basically since chapter 1. He has always believed he knew how to fix things, always had things in control, and never needed help. Even when they were facing a vengeful God, he believed he could solve the problems ahead of them with mere mortal magic, and while they helped it was definitely miniscule when compared to the efforts of everyone else.
Erin has a serious control issue, and perhaps a bit of a saviour complex. He is arrogant, and looks down on others, even if he doesn’t mean to. Falst accurately calls him out on it, and gives him a reality check he sorely needs: He cannot fix everything on his own, and he NEEDS help, and to work together with the others.
“He is arrogant, and looks down on others, even if he doesn’t mean to.”
He rather is! The thing is, he seems to get it right back? Everyone except Tess treats Erin like an idiot that can’t be trusted or relied on. Which of course only pushes him even further into trying to show that he CAN keep everything under control and people can and should rely on him. Which always backfires and makes people trust him even less. Which [go to step 1]
Basically this cannot continue this way, the dynamic is not sustainable.
But also, well, the simple fact is that Erin’s plans and attempts to help basically *never work* and it’s always down to Kendal and Alinua to save the day, so it’s hard to argue that even if after this he eats some humble pie and lowers the hubris a bit, the others should start to trust his contributions?
I think the solution, is for him to actually eat the humble pie, and to start collaborating, instead of trying to handle it himself. I think that is the most important part.
You’re right that everybody kinda treats him like he’s stupid (or at least “incapable of making a plan work”), but I think that is chiefly because his plans almost always exclusively center around him and his own efforts. I believe the reason they treat him like he can’t be relied upon, is for that reason. Because the center is him, because he is the Elemental Magus, he is the Genius.
What needs to change (I think), is that he has to stop centering his plans only on himself, and start using his intellect (which isn’t inconsiderate!) to figure out how to use the abilities of himself and, more importantly, his allies the best. He only has so many arms, like Falst said, and like Falst ALSO pointed out a few pages ago: What happens when Erin can’t create a bubble or cushion?
He and Kendal needs to learn the same lesson: Stop relying only on yourself. Stop being the saviour. Stop thinking you can fix everything on your own. For the others to start feeling like they can rely on Erin, I think he needs to take that first step, and show that he trusts them, and believes in them and their contributions (because, let’s face it, Erin isn’t the only figurative “Super Power” anymore. He’s traveling with a Demigod, an Avatar of Life, a possible Incarnation of Fire, and a Ferin with a mysterious, unknown power (and Tess)). He is, after all, no longer “The Most Capable Person” in the room anymore. He’s surrounded by equals, and perhaps some superior to him, and I think he has to realise that, before things get better.
Congratulations, that’s a pretty dang smart solution
Yup, totally uncalled for.
So much interesting inter-team conflict intensifying by being on a boat. Scrumptious!
I’m going to fucking hit this catboy with a squeaky hammer.
This feels so chaotic. It’s a masterful use of art and effects that it’s been feeling chaotic for the last few pages and it doesn’t become normal.
It is nice though that everything on the page is still readable. I as the reader am not confused, but can clearly see why all the characters are. She certainly doesn’t need my approval, but Red did a great job.
Wuh-oh.
I understand where Falst is coming from. Despite Erin’s best efforts, the situation was (is) spiraling out of control. Like Falst, I don’t believe Erin has enough hands, and changing course might in fact be the safest call. But jerking the ship around with no discussion and minimal warning, with Tess atop the mast and a Crucible on the verge of combusting, was a bad move.
Dainix is used to working with highly coordinated teams, I think, so this kind of discoordination and in-fighting is probably rather distressing for him, on top of everything else…
And now the lacrima’s run out of power, and the ship is at the mercy of the sea, huh? Oh boy. This just keeps getting better.
I wonder if they’re going to need Kendal to get out and push at some point.
Hopefully this comment finally gets through…
Anyway, it pains to say this but the quality of this comic has taken a huge nosedive lately. I’ll first address the weird plot holes:
How does Catboy know how to control a boat? I guess it’s more understandable to modern humans who have seen wheels in cars, but a cat who lived his entire life in a forest?
Why was the sail not reefed or completely lowered? Lightning Lady and Elemental Magus both imply they have sailed before, so they should understand the basic protocol of not having the sail out and possibly damaged by high winds/lightning.
Also, the merfolk thing. When you “foreshadowed” them I knew something like this would happen. It’s fine to have obvious plot progression, but this feels exactly like the cave mishap with Catboy and Fire Pirate: Pointless filler. And please for love of god, not another follower of the Divine Chosen One God club, please! Not every character with hidden edgelord god complex needs to follow our heroes, especially because over half of the party started this journey just because they have nothing better to do. (Which is fine for Blue Elf and Catboy, but weird that Fire Pirate joined the group after Storm God fight, I really don’t get that)
Second: Visuals.
Since the beginning we’ve had a lot of panels that just don’t convey anything – Visual noise. Fine enough when done as a small picture – like fast cuts in a film action scene.
But I’ve noticed this ever since the Storm God fight, it has become noticeably worse. Take the last panel of this page: The big bloom-effect bubble with BHWAA – Did the bubble explode, implode, disappear, vibrate, dissipate, move? Or was that sound just the hull hitting something? You really need to stop doing this, it’s just gotten worse over time. This page does it twice, too!
This might come off as rude, but these remind me of my comics I made when I was 2 years old. For me, they made perfect sense, but nobody else had any idea – or interest in deciphering – what happened in each panel.
Since that time, I’ve learned that the panels MUST be self-contained and explain each other, and you can’t end a page with visual noise + uncommon onomatopoeia.
-Catboy and everyone else was most likely taught that turning the wheel turns the boat. They had a lot of time to talk about that and showing the conversation would be pointless.
-the sail isn’t lowered because 1. the boat pushes itself foward with wind lacrimas and Erin wants it to go at max speed no matter what, 2. the winds and lightning were planned to be dealt with by tess and erin, since both of them are experts in dealing with storms. They probably didn’t expect fire rocks
-only red knows if the mermaids will be important it isn’t foreshadowing if it hasn’t happened yet
-is it filler if it actually has character development?
Counterpoints:
– Figuring out that “wheel turns vehicle” after seeing friends do it is hardly a stretch. I’d be shocked if Falst had trouble with that.
– Sail is in a magical shield and wind-manipulating field to protect the ship and keep it going. Ordinary rules need not apply.
– Dainix’s reason was quite clear for joining up: this group is headed toward the best possible lead on mastering his soulfire
-Falst and Dainix cave crawler arc dug up a TON of tasty character backstory, drastically advanced the relationship between the two, planted the seed of Falst’s mysterious (Paladin?) powers and Erin using void magic for the first time, and frankly, your comment reads like you weren’t paying attention.
-Your comment also reads like someone who rains on parades for fun, not a good faith take. Even if this WERE an appropriate place for critique, you’re being an asshole about it for no good reason. If you dislike a comic that’s being shared with the world for free, there’s a delightful feature called a “back button.”
– It’s also been established that Falst is quite intelligent, and could very well have read about boat function, or simply overheard the others discussing it. I’ve only been on a rowboat and a ferry boat, but I still know that if I turn the wheel, the rudder turns and the boat changes direction.
– Erin has sailed before, but it’s been blatantly stated throughout this chapter and last that he *doesn’t want to slow down*, and he’s convinced he can handle whatever weather comes their way, as evidenced when Kendal first woke up and everything started going to shit. The point is that Erin *isn’t* being careful or prudent, even though he’s pretending he is, because his fear and desperation is pushing him onward. Dainix said as much to Kendal when they were loading the ship.
– I think part of the fun of this comic is that everyone is overpowered in some way, but they still get shoehorned into reasons why they can’t just power their way through their problems.
Dainix was a mindless fire monster when he followed them; he stayed because Erin offered him a concrete lead on his soulfire power, as Squirrel mentioned.
As for the visuals, “Shaaaa” is a sound effect that’s been used several times to indicate a large magic effect, in this case, the spells powering the ship on it’s ‘downward slope’ forward dissipating.
One other thing is that although Red posts one page at a time, which allows us to speculate and fret and have something to look forward to a few times a week, it’s really meant to be read in one go, which would help with clarity in some places. I’ve been reading this section piece by piece and enjoying the building tension, but when I flipped back to the beginning of the storm and read all the pages up to the current one, I really got a feel for how FAST everything is going sideways. It’s meant to feel a little chaotic.
They haven’t done a lot of safe preventative measures because Erin is the only one who knows what to do, and right now problems are just being shouted at him as they occur, and occur *quickly*. That’s the point the party was trying to make to him early on: it’s all well and good that Erin knows about Helm, and can manage the wind and the waves, and knows what to expect but the others *don’t*, and Erin cannot be helmsman, navigator, weather controller, lacrima battery, encyclopedia, map, protector, and everything else at once — and we as the audience know how much the universe loves knocking Erin’s hubris down a peg.
You’re absolutely entitled to your opinion, and if the latest chapters aren’t your jam, that’s fair. Saying something like you feel like some of the panels are unclear, or that you feel the pacing is a bit off balance, that’s valid critique. This forum is often used to help each other discuss panels or storylines that may not be immediately obvious to all. But saying that it reminds you of a two-year-old’s comic or telling the creator HOW to write or put together her comic isn’t polite or constructive especially when it’s being posted for free. If you really feel the need to share your opinions with the author, send it in a private message, instead of airing your grievances on a public forum.
And if the comic is no longer to your taste, you can walk away, or take a break until the chapter/Arc is complete. You might find it more enjoyable and easier to read.
–
I stand by the logic of what I said here, which, at its core, is that the criticisms were both inaccurate and unnecessarily unkind. But I’m reading everyone else’s thoughtful and measured replies and rereading my own, and I’m realizing I got quite heated. I apologize for that and for any discomfort I may have caused for other commenters.
To brisklyglittery: if your comment was sincere, please be aware that the way you phrased your critique would have gone very badly even in a workshop setting. Critiques addressed to an artist should always be constructive and functionally focused, discussing the mechanics of the work and potential solutions to help improve it. As Sylvermage said, the way you phrased it, comparing it a two-year-old’s art, was unhelpful. If you think something might be rude to say, it probably is and is not appropriate for artist-directed critique. It’s also important to observe an artist’s work with attention and care before attempting to provide feedback, which you clearly didn’t do here.
Furthermore, in this case, the artist has not consented to receiving a critique at all. Critique is opt-in, and sharing art is not itself a solicitation for critique. As others have said, it’s okay to not like something and okay to have opinions about it, but it’s not okay to be mean about it or to assume an artist wants to hear unasked-for and harsh criticisms.
I hope you have stepped away and are happier for it.
“SHAAA” as a sound effect has been used many times in the comic when magic things have happened. Combining that with the watery font, the water lacrima that failed in the immediately previous panel, and the waves that weren’t there before, I felt it was pretty obvious what happened.
… Squirrel’s already pointed out most of the issues with this, but the whole “oh no why is everyone so special” thing doesn’t make sense at all. Every single character in the gang has strong reasons for being there: Erin and Dainix need to visit the Soulshaper Monks to deal with their respective magic issues; Alinua and Falst are sticking with the first actual friends they’ve had, like, ever; Tess wants to keep an eye on her brother; and Kendal can’t free his patron/dad god without help.
As for your complaints about “visual noise”- well, the arc is still warming up. It makes sense to gloss over the slower parts with single panels, similar to movie montages, and it would be a bad idea to neglect character growth in favour of flashy action.
Plus, it’s at least clear in the last panel that the bubble is dissolving or breaking down, as noted by how the bottom of it is retracting from the water’s surface.
Your comment reads like a bad-faith argument, and it itself has a ton of weird plot holes.
These aren’t plot holes; you’re just being pedantic.
Falst roamed around a lot before meeting the gang. It’s not inconceivable that he’s been on a boat before, nor is it that hard to figure out that the helm controls the ship.
The sail was not lowered because they need to keep moving. Since the main dangers of high winds and lightning can be mitigated by magic, it’s reasonable enough to keep the sail up so that they cna get through the storm faster.
Not sure what this has to do with merfolk. Also not sure what you’re referring to by “foreshadowing”. Also not sure what you mean by obvious plot progression? The characters need to get from A to B, so of course there’s going to be travel. This is a logical and necessary step in the story. And that “pointless filler” was actually character development, so maybe you just weren’t paying attention.
Again, Dainix is here because the Soulshaper Monks might be able to help him too. Falst is here because no one else has ever shown him kindness. Alinua is here because Kendal is here, and Kendal is here because Erin can help him with Vash. Tess is here because Erin is here, and Erin is here because he needs help to deal with the Void Dragon; it’s in his best interest to keep Kendal, Alinua, AND Dainix around because they can contain VD.
I also don’t understand your complaints about “visual noise” as you call it. The last panel is a wide shot conveying the fact that the stabilisation lacrima has failed and the sea is battering the ship again. Not just noise, actual important information. There are panels that aren’t meant to convey plot-relevant information, but these supplemental shots are vital to constructing an atmosphere. For instance, we had a lot of shots of how calm and beautiful everything was a few pages ago so that we could feel the characters relax. They collectively conveyed atmospheric and emotional information.
You ARE being rude. It’s fine if you don’t like this, but the “critiques” you’ve presented here aren’t valid. And I find it VERY hard to believe you were producing anything of this quality at the age of two.
My friend… Perhaps your writing comes from genuine sincerity. Perhaps you are trolling. But by this point I am sure that you are aware how it has been interpreted.
I believe also that the reactions you are getting is not just based on your comments of the quality of the comic, but also the implied statement about what the continued enjoyment of the comic says about its readers. You may not have meant to include this subtext, but it is present, and likely to draw ire from those who notice it.
From one reader/commenter to another, I’d advise you to keep this in mind next time you post.
You don’t need to like good things. I still like the comic, despite the nosedive in its quality recently – And you seem to get mad at critique, implying you like it despite it’s quality as well. No need to get defensive over anything here.
I think it’s more rude to expect nothing from the author. I don’t think you’re really appreciating how well most panels in this comic are laid out, and how well they convey momentum and visuals. Take the 2nd panel of this page: Awesome perspective to both show magic source and it’s immediate impact in a single panel. No need to theorize what is visually going on. But the last panel? If the boat exploded next panel, none of us would be surprised. If it didn’t, that would also make sense – That sounds like the panel only conveys that a magic shield exists around the ship and uhh… something is probably happening to it, and there’s cool sound effect for some reason???
Reefing the sail (which doesn’t even seem possible with the way its draw, but that’s nitpicking), especially when its a magic boat with a lot more points of failure, I would assume the characters would at least mention it. But they didn’t, because Red didn’t think about that, so the characters didn’t either. The characters became morons just so we can have our next filler scene underwater this time.
Filler is when the plot halts. The storm god arc was important for plot, theme and characters: It drove motivations of both heroes and villains. There were personal stakes, and it had beautiful themes. In contrast, the cave spelunking existed just so Red had some B plot to return to away from the actually interesting reveals and character moments on the surface. I can appreciate what this comic is doing – That’s exactly why I am disappointed right now.
I kind of wrote the last plot hole badly. Fire Pirate has had nothing to actually contribute after the Storm God fight, and there’s no reason he was accepted to join, when he’s been a constant burden to the group that causes filler chapters just by his mere existence. Why haven’t any uncool slaves or orphan children along the way been taken to this journey too? Our characters seem to love to accommodate all kinds of useless travel partners which slow down their travel, after all.
My point was that we can have cool characters that don’t join the party. Especially when the author can’t find a way to keep the story moving with them around.
Alright buddy, I’m gonna get a little blunt here.
“You don’t need to like good things. I still like the comic, despite the nosedive in its quality recently”
There has been no “nosedive”. The comic’s quality is fine. Your critiques are poorly formed and poorly thought out because you clearly have not been paying attention to what’s actually been happening. This is corroborated by the fact that people with better analytical skills than yours do not share anywhere near the same complaints, so I really don’t see why we should measure the quality of this comic purely by the standards of one person who’s a bit lacking in the media literacy department.
“And you seem to get mad at critique, implying you like it despite it’s quality as well.”
We like it *because* of its quality. What gets some of us mad is the fact that your “critique” was not only low-quality at best, but the fact that you were also kind of an asshole with how you conveyed it, as some of the others have pointed out.
“I think it’s more rude to expect nothing from the author.”
Who says we expect nothing from the author? What? We clearly expect the best from her, and other than you, no one here has expressed that they haven’t been getting it. It’s far ruder to compare her comic to the work of a two-year-old and presume that you can tell her what to do and what not to do with her own work.
“I don’t think you’re really appreciating how well most panels in this comic are laid out, and how well they convey momentum and visuals.”
We do appreciate that. People talk about it all the time. I don’t think you’re really appreciating how solid the writing actually is. I’ll go into that more later.
“But the last panel? If the boat exploded next panel, none of us would be surprised.”
Maybe you wouldn’t, but the rest of us would, because anyone who’s been paying attention is well aware that that was never even hinted to be a possibility.
“If it didn’t, that would also make sense – That sounds like the panel only conveys that a magic shield exists around the ship and uhh… something is probably happening to it, and there’s cool sound effect for some reason???”
I’m going to have to advise you to go back and read the last few pages, bruv. The panel conveys that the magic shield (that Erin was very clearly shown to have been maintaining himself) is likely faltering due to the strain Erin is currently experiencing using multiple elements at once, and (more importantly) that the stabilizing effect of the water lacrima that was set in the mast has worn off. “SHAAA” has repeatedly been used to signify the release of a magical effect, like when the Collector released her hold on Zuurith. It’s the same deal here.
I feel like you’re one of the only people that didn’t pick up on this, because it was pretty obvious and well-foreshadowed.
“Reefing the sail (which doesn’t even seem possible with the way its draw, but that’s nitpicking), especially when its a magic boat with a lot more points of failure, I would assume the characters would at least mention it. But they didn’t, because Red didn’t think about that, so the characters didn’t either. The characters became morons just so we can have our next filler scene underwater this time.”
First off, none of these scenes so far have been filler; they all serve one purpose or another, because the comic doesn’t have time for legitimately useless stuff. Second off, this is a huge nitpick that literally only you care about, and that other people have already addressed anyhow. Mentioning it the way you suggested would’ve just added a throwaway line that’d have had no actual impact on the story, answering a question that literally only you have felt the need to ask.
Red is not a sailor. I don’t blame her for not thinking of it, if that is indeed what happened. But even if it just didn’t occur to her, the existence of magic to negate the effects of what you just complained about more than justifies the fact that it wasn’t addressed.
“Filler is when the plot halts. The storm god arc was important for plot, theme and characters: It drove motivations of both heroes and villains. There were personal stakes, and it had beautiful themes. In contrast, the cave spelunking existed just so Red had some B plot to return to away from the actually interesting reveals and character moments on the surface. I can appreciate what this comic is doing – That’s exactly why I am disappointed right now.”
I’m not sure I follow, because the “B plot” also had a set of reveals and character moments of its own, up to and including the backstory reveal of two of the six main characters, including one who otherwise never would’ve opened up enough to share it. Character development was practically the entire name of the game here, in fact. It’s cool if you didn’t find that interesting, but you can’t act like it did nothing when it objectively did. This just seems like a poor reading of the story.
“I kind of wrote the last plot hole badly.”
You kind of wrote all of them badly.
“Fire Pirate has had nothing to actually contribute after the Storm God fight,”
Pretty handy fire powers literally unheard of outside of his own people, experience working in an actual team when everyone else is used to operating alone, a wide array of weapons, equipment, and experience planning for all manner of dangerous threats… in the previous chapters, we literally see him preparing things like flash bombs and giving advice on how to fight automatons that none of the others have experience fighting.
Are you for real, dude?
“and there’s no reason he was accepted to join,”
Erin has outright stated that he keeps him around as a deterrent for the Void Dragon. Which is another thing he contributes, by the way. Holy Christ, man, it’s like you didn’t read anything after the Tynan fight.
“when he’s been a constant burden to the group that causes filler chapters just by his mere existence.”
Again, none of these chapters were filler, and while he can’t always be 100% of use in every situation, he’s objectively useful to have around. He certainly did more than, say, Falst during the Tynan fight.
“Why haven’t any uncool slaves or orphan children along the way been taken to this journey too?”
This is a fantasy superhero story. Why do we need uncool slaves or orphan children? Who’s even asking for that other than you? This sounds like a personal preference rather than an actual valid critique.
“Our characters seem to love to accommodate all kinds of useless travel partners which slow down their travel, after all.”
I fail to see how any of them have slowed anyone down? Even Dainix’s situation didn’t actually do damage; it’s actively being dealt with. The only thing I can think of is when Kendal had to go to sleep that one time.
“My point was that we can have cool characters that don’t join the party.”
Shrike, Trusk, Theia, Tarren, Gleicann, Caliban, Tahraim, Argist, etc. We have plenty.
It’s also Red’s right to have as many cool characters in her party as she wants. It’s a fantasy superhero story, that’s kinda the point.
“Especially when the author can’t find a way to keep the story moving with them around.”
Except she obviously can, as evidenced by the way that the story is clearly moving in a very logical manner of progression.
I’m gonna level with you, dude: If you think you’re a good critic, you’re not. Your advice reeks of a very poor understanding or interpretation of the material at hand and is broadly and categorically worthless as critique. Any decent points you might have are greatly overshadowed by the much faultier ones that can easily be countered by having a decent amount of media literacy. At most, what we really have here is just you wanting a slightly different type of story than what you’re reading, since you seem to be trying to impose some of your own writing preferences upon Red.
Though, even that’s further outdone by the fact that your overall tone just reeks of pretentiousness, like you’re some veteran in the field who knows how to spot a writing flaw from a mile away. You talk as if you know better than her, and as if you’re in any position to give advice when no one neither asked nor cared to know your opinion. Maybe you meant well, but for future reference, outright telling someone that their work has fallen off and comparing it to the stuff you made when you were two years old is a garbage way of going about it. Do better.
(Also, while people may not have been able to decipher what you made when you were 2, people almost always have a pretty clear idea of what’s happening in Red’s work, so if you find that you’re having issues, consider that that’s maybe a you problem. Either way, they’re clearly not in the same league like you’re trying to make them out to be.)
No one else here has a problem with any of this so… maybe here isn’t the place to post this criticism? I don’t really see what you’re trying to achieve here. Red isn’t going to change the story because of one comment, and she doesn’t owe you anything.
I don’t really get what you mean when you say that Dainix “has had nothing to actually contribute.” He’s been plenty helpful in character-building ways, specifically with Falst. Saying he’s a burden is like saying that about bringing supplies on a hike. Sure, they might be added weight to carry for a while, but you’ll be grateful when it comes time to use them. Erin has a specific reason for keeping Dainix around; he’s a safety net in case Erin can’t control the Dragon (Dainix was capable of actually fighting the Dragon one on one). It makes perfect sense to me at least. And even if he’s not constantly doing something useful, is any character? No. Alinua and Kendal have pretty much nothing to do on the boat right now (so far anyway) because their abilities aren’t as well suited to the problems they’re currently facing. Does that mean they’re burdens? No. I think it’s a bit toxic to consider anyone who isn’t actively being useful a burden.
The others brought up plenty of good points, so I won’t try to convince you the dungeon arc wasn’t filler. All I’ll say is this: even if it was, who cares? It was enjoyable to read, the visuals were gorgeous throughout (as always) and we got a ton of fun character interactions. The plot doesn’t have to be speeding ahead at 100mph 24/7. The smaller, more episodic arcs are jam-packed with great character moments and they’re fun on their own. Aurora is, at its core, an episodic story. If you don’t like that narrative style, read something that has a style you enjoy more.
I personally believe that the story hasn’t changed in quality at all recently (or, if it has, it’s only gotten better). If you caught up recently, the shift from reading complete arcs to waiting for pages might be impacting your perception of the story. As another commenter suggested, you could wait for an arc to be completed and then read it, or if you aren’t that patient (which I get, I can never wait to read my webcomics), find other content better suited to your tastes. I agree with @Skye, and I would add that the reason you’re getting this reaction from everyone is that this community is a positive place, a place to theorize and to interact with others who enjoy the comic. We enjoy Aurora for what it is, not what we wish it was. When you bring negativity into a space like that, it’s like an antimatter reaction.
And so this brings me back to my first point: what IS the point? I think your time would be better spent doing something you really enjoy instead of complaining about a story you find mediocre. I won’t tell you to stop posting critiques here, but I will ask you to reflect on what you gain from doing so. Would you rather shout complaints into the void of the internet, or would you rather watch your favorite show, take a refreshing walk, make yourself your favorite food? I hope that you can step away and decide to do something more productive and healthy with your time.
First, I disagree with the furling of the sails — the entire point here is Erin has relied too much on magic, not taking into account factors beyond his control (such as Falst). I’m enjoying this disaster (and Dainix) very much. If every arc had the same level of intensity, that would be bad storytelling.
Two suggestions and a theory:
1 – Lurk more. Get a feel for the community here. It’s an irreverent group prone to wacky nicknames for the baddies, theorizing, and squee. Red has a lot goodwill built up over a long period of time. This isn’t the kind of space where you lash out at the author, for which I’m thankful because we wouldn’t have a comic.
2 – If you don’t like the direction of the comic or you fell as a two year-old you could draw better, post your own. If you can’t write but can draw, collaborate.
Theory: Why do people do this with free comics and fan works?
Years ago I listed a futon as a free giveaway. A woman called me, but she demanded to know what was wrong with it. There was nothing wrong with it — I just had a new bed and wanted it gone. If I had charged $25 bucks for it, she would’ve valued it more not given me such a hard time. Free comics is very kind, and we should value and respect the generosity. If we really don’t like it — that backbutton works great.
*feel, sigh
I think all the recent pages could be summed up with “oh no.” I can feel Erin’s stress through the page lol
I’m currently at “Oh shit” and rapidly running out of curse words XP
Oop.
Maybe we yell at Erin AFTER we’re out of the active warzone, Falst? Because even if he got you INTO this mess, he is also the only one who can get you OUT.
The shot of Erin pulling the fire from the mast is very cool, though. I think this the first time we’ve seen him wield 3 elements at once.
Don’t fall, Tess! Oh wait, you’re literally made of metal and would be fine.
… Unless she lands in the ocean and immediately sinks because she’s made of metal.
oh f-
Or lands on the deck and crashes through it-
Well, on a more optimistic hand, getting rained on might help stop Dainix from bursting into flames! …that’s the only upside, but it’s something!
Is that a dig towards his sealing tattoos? Probably not. Falst is probably just mad.
There once was a ship in a storm
In which arguments and strife were born.
Falst is stressed out,
And Erin, no doubt,
And the lacrima’s power is shorn.
Falst I get ur mad but going out of ur way to tease Erin when he is clearly under enough stress already and needs to be concentrating right now is not the best idea ever
He’s not teasing or doing anything to deliberately get Erin angry. This is survival instinct – Falst is seeing that Erin does *not* have everything under control, they’re in the middle of a storm sailing toward an active volcano, and Dainix is about to blow. In Falst’s mind, if they stay on this course, stuff is going to keep piling up until the ship sinks – the solution to all the problems is to get out of the storm.
He *knows* that Erin is going to be angry about this, so he’s ready to bitch back when Erin speaks up, but he’s not doing this to antagonize Erin. That’s just a side effect.
I’m a little confused by that second-to-last panel. Is that a hole in the ship that spontaneously repaired itself, or is it a lacrima that just ran out of juice? Either one has bad implications. You wouldn’t want a ship to self-repair if it’s full of water, and you don’t want your magic power to dry up.
It’s the water lacrima dying. The blue glow has vanished, and the water lacrima is no longer moving the ship on it’s ‘downhill’ propulsion, so they’ll be slowing way down — right where they don’t want to be. I’m also worried the ship may be unbalanced if the wind lacrima is still at full blast. Whatever’s coming, I agree, it ain’t good.
It’s also the stabiliser lacrima. This whole time, the ship has been sailing over still water, even in the storm, because that lacrima has been smoothing things out. Now the waves are going to rock the ship in full, which means things are even worse.
Ooh, good point. This is going to suck for everybody, but especially poor Dainix.
To paraphrase a trope or maxim? My friend discovered while gaming and watching anime ‘There is NO situation that cannot made Worst when Catfolk are introduced to into it’ though I found some pixies, elves, goblins or random Player Characters fit that role (some of which I ran myself) (asked Charlie Luce).
Has anyone else noticed Erin pulling out his wind magic in panel eight? What is he going to do with it? I could see him using water magic to refill the lacrima right now, but I’m not sure what he’ll do with wind.
I believe he’s already using it to maintain the rain shield, or just to mitigate the effects of the storm. But he’s been using it in previous panels already.
I’m pretty sure he’s been using Wind-And-Air magic to make a storm-proof bubble since they entered said storm.
Oh that’s not going to be good for Dainix
But the smith god dude said he could burn at the bottem of the ocean, right?
Dainix put his finger on an essential problem in the group a while back. There is no leader. And crises like this show how bad that is.
Erin has put too much on his plate. Falst is creating new problems even as he goes off on a tear to solve the immediate problem. And while we have some “social glue” types to hold the group together, only desperation and professionalism is saving this situation now. There’s going to be hell to pay once they’re through it.
Hands grasp for control “EVERYBODY HANG
ON!” Waves great pitch and roll -DANG!-
Lacrima is gone… They
Disagree, helm’s passage wrong.
Sorry if this has been asked before, but do you plan on eventually releasing books? I would love to have them!
I’m pretty sure there’s a physical copy of arc 1 in the works right now!
ahahaha this isnt good.
In which it is demonstrated why Kendal’s “No one is in charge” is – or at least can be – a problem.
I liked the expression on Erin’s face in panel eight. Definitely expressed many moods and thoughts with that one look. And then the Lacrima on the mast stops working…
This is where I caught up with the comic.
Oh no! did Tess loose her grip? I don’t like a metal caste’s chances in water.
TL;DR: Error, too much multitasking attempted.
I think what happened here is not that the lacrima predictably ran out of juice, but that it needed more juice for a sharp maneuver.
Either that or it broke.
That would be bad. Quite, quite bad.